Some of you already know about the Central PA Gazelle, another blog on Blogger. Those who don't, check this out:
http://centralpagazelle.blogspot.com/index.html
This is satire at its best. Whoever the writer is, they have the journalistic style nailed, and some of these entries are hysterically funny. It helps to know the central PA area and some of its newsmakers, and they're not all direct hits, but for instance, here's a quote from the latest entry, in which Gov. Rendell admits to having broken 140 separate laws:
(HARRISBURG) - In response to a Freedom of Information Act request from the Gazelle, Governor Ed Rendell today released a list of local, state and federal laws he has broken during his time in office. The 317-page document seemed to indicate that the governor's recent admissions about speeding were just the tip of the iceberg.Included in the list are several traffic violations Rendell has committed through orders to his state trooper escort, including failure to yield to pedestrians, tailgating and a litany of aggressive driving-related offenses.In addition, Rendell said he once urinated from the top of the reserved section bleachers at a Harrisburg Senators game. "I should note that I was high as a kite at the time, so I guess that's another one," he wrote.
This is funny stuff. Make sure you dig through the earlier entries, like the one in March where Mayor Reed enacts mandatory smoking for all Hbg. employees.
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This was my favorite:
ReplyDelete(PARADISE) - A developer today announced plans to purchase the entire Lancaster County community of Paradise, pave over it and put up a parking lot.
"Eventually, we might consider building a pink hotel, a boutique and maybe even a swinging hot spot," said John Mitchell, president and chief executive officer of Johnny Mitchell Enterprises, LLP of Blue Ball. "But for now, we're just going with a parking lot."
Many of the apple trees belonging to farmer David Haarbusch will be uprooted as a result of the plan. "I guess I can put away my DDT now," he said.
Several trees located on the property will need to be uprooted, but they apparently will not be destroyed. Harrisburg Mayor Stephen Reed plans to take all the trees and put them in a tree museum. "I expect that we'll charge a dollar and a half for people who may want to see them."
The parking lot plan has generated a good deal of opposition in this rural town. "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone," lamented longtime resident Joanne Stoltzfus.
Grampa Ed